Step one: Tango at home. Seriously–walk around for a few days cross stepping as often as you can. The movement needs to become natural before you get on a board. Don’t just stagger around sideways, place your foot carefully, keeping weight on your toes and heel as you put the foot down. The only way you can do that is to bend your knees, stick your ass out, and get low.. Which is exactly what you want to do. Don’t bend forward at the waist–stay balanced.

Step two: Get loose on your board. Move around, shift your weight, step forward and back. I see guys all the time that are rooted in place on the board.

Step three: Fall in a lot. Hey, it’s going to happen. Catch a wave, trim in, get in a good surfing stance, stay low, start steppin’ brah.

Step four: Be one with the waves. As you move forward the board will accelerate down the wave–unless you’re trimmed straight down the line. As the board accelerates it will tend to boot you off the back. One more reason to stay low.

Step five: No premature celebration. I tend to take three steps and then stand up straight to say “look at me, I’m cross-stepping” though the last three words are mumbled underwater. Stay low going forward, then step your way back.

Okay, NOW you can celebrate.

Even a fairly small wave can catch you in exactly the wrong spot and pin you. A big wave has all kinds of unpredictable things happening under it. You might pop out in just a few seconds after a wipeout on a big wave, or you could be down on the bottom looking through a curtain of foam, trying to figure out which way is up.

When everything is going bad, time gets haywire. A big wave period (the time between waves) is 15 to 20 seconds. If you are held down until just before the next wave comes, that’s probably twenty seconds maximum.

A two wave hold down, which is pretty rare and considered to be pretty horrific, is at the very most, 40 seconds, and more likely 30 seconds. It might seem like you’re down there for ten minutes, but even a really bad hold down is in the easy range of holding your breath–if you are calm and relaxed.

Of course calmly holding your breath in our living room and doing it while you’re being bounced across a reef are two different things. But the living room is a decent place to practice. You might also want to try the classic hold down exercise–carrying weights underwater. Good training if the prospect scares you. It doesn’t have to be a fifty pound boulder, twenty pounds of dive weights will give you valuable experience.

Here’s some things to consider when the wave is dropping on your head:

1. Why don’t I have some floatation? You might think it looks dorky, but don’t tell that to Laird–he’s usually wearing an impact vest with floatation when he’s charging big stuff. So do an increasing number of tow-in surfers. Even light ones aren’t as comfortable as no vest is, and they can be a liability in a crowded surf spot–it’s tough to dive under a board that’s headed toward your head if you’ve got a vest on. But when a double overhead lip falls on you and you pop up in the foam four seconds later, that vest feels REALLY comfortable.

2. Your paddle can help. If you held onto your paddle when you fell, it adds a little buoyancy and will help pull you up. When you get hit by a wave, putting the paddle behind your head tends to push you upwards. I don’t know why that works, but in my experience it does help. Once you get out of the impact zone you can toss your paddle towards your board and swim unencumbered, or tuck it in your rash guard for a little added float.

3. Don’t fight the power. When you’re being held down, relax as much as possible during the turbulent stage. You can’t swim against the wave’s currents and you’ll just burn up O2. Wait for the bubbles to start to rise, and follow them up. Watch for your board as you surface, no point in adding a head injury to your challenges.

4. Duck and cover. The most important element is simply being calm and getting breaths when you can. Try to control your body by keeping your arms in and your knees bent and clenched while you’re in the wash. And take your time. Kicking like crazy for a breath works some of the time, but one day a lip will fall above you just before you reach the surface.

5. Take the ride. If the waves are breaking outside your position and you can reach your board, get a good grip on it before the next set hits. If the sets aren’t huge and you are getting hit by mostly whitewater, sitting on the board near the tail, holding on with your hands, and dangling your feet will keep you above the whitewater. If nothing else you’ll get pushed out of the impact zone in the whitewater. Just make sure there’s no one barreling down on you as you sit there like a bobber.

6. Bail if necessary. If the lip is headed straight for your head, or other surfers are headed towards you, conditions might be better a few feet down. Get as big a breath as you can, and duck under, diving towards and under the wave. Arch your back and kick forward and chances are you’ll pop out the back quickly. Just make sure you’re deep enough that you don’t get sucked backward over the falls. That’s always bad.

Retrieve your board, and get the heck out of there. You probably only need fifty feet to be in safer water.

One of the beautiful things about surfing is that you’re on your own. In the toughest times no one can really help you. Maybe not as much as when you jump out the door of an airplane, but how things turn out in the surf is pretty much up to you. A little conditioning, a little practice, and some mental discipline will go a long way to making sure they turn out well.

Matt Argyle, styling in a frosty UK wave

2007 has been something of a seminal year for stand up paddle boarding in the UK. We had our first national SUP competition held in perfect 3-4ft waves in Cornwall, the British Stand Up Paddle Boarding Association was formed (BSUPA) and we began to see more people out in the surf on SUP boards.

The scene at the moment is small, most stand up paddle surfers know each other and, apart from at the competition, you usually don’t see more than one or two in the line-up. Despite this it’s the most exciting surfing sport scene we have seen in the UK since those first long boards arrived in the 1960’s in Cornwall.

The UK is blessed with over 11,000 miles of coast line and the stand up paddle surfers are just starting to explore it. Just as an example, I was out at my local point break, West Wittering, in a nice 2-3ft swell, once again I was the only SUP surfer out in a pack of longboarders when I saw another SUP surfer heading out into the channel between the point break and Hayling Island, and he started surfing the outer banks. These waves can be pretty much unsurfable due to the currents and rip tides and the way the wave reforms, but on a SUP board you can power over the reform and keep surfing. I guess we are all learning to shake off our preconceptions on what a surf break should be and we are looking to the possibilities out there.

Olaus Mcleod and his challenge board

We have our very own Laird Hamilton in the shape of Olaus Mcleod. Olaus is based in Cornwall and his day job is an airline pilot, he started SUP surfing in December 2006. He has been one of the keenest advocates of SUP in the UK and decided to promote the sport with a herculean challenge. On the 21st April 2007 he paddled from Lands End to the Isles of Scilly (approximately 35 miles), the next day he ran the 2007 Tresco Marathon, then he planned to return the following day, but got about 2 hours into the Atlantic and gale force winds arrived forcing him to abandon the challenge. This year’s challenge is to paddle from the West Coast, through the river system, and onto London on the East Coast.

Adam Zervas in a complicated-looking wave

Another example of someone who is pushing the boundaries in the UK is Simon Jayham. Based in Swansea, South Wales, Simon runs his own surf school and has been chasing big waves for years. Last year he was introduced to SUP during a lull the swell in Madeira. He is now searching for and surfing big waves in the UK on his SUP board. Once again these sort of waves are unsurfable with traditional surfbaords, due to rip and tide currents.

The British Stand Up Paddle Association (BSUPA) has been formed and there are four surf competitions planned all over the country, with the aim to crown a UK champion male and female SUP rider at the end of the year.

The future for SUP looks bright, although alot of people who are hesitating to make the SUP plunge are asking themselves whether this sport is just a fad or whether it is here to stay. I think that it is here to stay simply because it offers so much to the individual. You can get heaps more water time, it keeps you seriously fit and you can explore.

Article by Matt Argyle

Fins work best when they are in the water

This article is going to evolve over time as I learn more. I’m working on a general chart that will enable you to pick a condition–like “the board won’t maintain direction in the waves” then you choose your current fin setup and it suggests corrective action. Right now it’s a collection of post-it notes. I need to do a bunch of experiments, or find someone who already has, so I can give real information.

I realized some time ago that I didn’t know squat about surfboard shapes and fins. I have all kinds of theories, but they only hold water at the extremes. I lack the sensitivity and experience for nuances to matter. So I was shocked and pleased to discover the other day that I could tell that the standard fin on my Starboard which seemed just fine in flatwater was inadequate for my weight and clumsy maneuvering in the surf.

I learned in many years of racing cars that completely understanding how components work enables you to relate something you’re feeling in the car to likely corrections. The ability to fine tune comes only partly from experience, the rest comes from understanding the system.

So I browsed the web looking for information on board shapes, rails and fins. I found there’s not a lot of information in any one place, but there’s a little information in a lot of places. So I relied on the doctrine of fair use, stole freely, and rewrote it all to focus the information on Paddlesurfing issues. Quite a bit of information came from the Harbour Surboards site (http://www.harboursurfboards.com/). Whoever writes for Harbour is knowledgeable (or has access to knowledge) and an elegant, erudite writer, worth a read even though it’s all focused on laydown surfboards (or as one wag recently wrote in Standup Zone: Hand Paddling–which sounds like something that might make you blind). I’m not going to fully acknowledge all the other sites (Surfline, Wikipedia, Surfing-waves, Swaylocks, etc.), because the bibliography would be longer than the article and I didn’t steal as much from them.

Fins
Fins are probably the biggest mystery, they come in a bewildering selection of shapes, sizes and parameters like flex and foil. It you don’t like the way your board does certain things then the easiest and least expensive thing to change is the fin, and it can have a great effect. First let’s cover the basic metrics:

Base is the width of the blade at the widest part of the fin, generally where the fin meets the board.

Height (or depth) is the distance from the base of the board to top of the fin.

These two elements combined approximate the fin area. A fin with a larger area is going to have more holding potential and have stiffer turning characteristics. A fin with less area is going to turn easier but have less holding potential and will drift sideways in a wave. Those are two different thing–holding means continuing to control the tail of the board under turning pressure. When a fin loses hold it’s a sudden loss of control.

Drift is sideways movement without loss of hold, and there’s always some. It’s just like a car sliding without spinning out. All fins drift some, and the board shape has as much to do with this as the fin does. A wide tail increases drift, a narrow one decreases it. Drift is also expressed as it’s counterpart–Drive. Drive is the feeling a fin (and a rail) gives when it has low drift. Fins with more base will have more drive. With less base area, you get less resistance when pushing through a turn.

Changing fin height compensates for both tail width and the surfer’s weight. Increasing height creates more grip on turns but also makes it harder to turn. It also increases hold while nose riding.

Sweep (or rake) is the angle of the fin from the base to the tip (generally measured at the back of the fin–so it’s from the end of the base to the rear of the tip). A fin with more sweep will result in longer more drawn out turns that are easier to control. A fin with less sweep will have a shorter turning radius but it is easier to spin it out.

Flex is the amount a fin flexes from side to side. Hard to believe that a stubby piece of solid fiberglass flexes when you turn your board, but it does. A fin with little flex will be more responsive, faster, and have more drive. A softer flex fin will have less snap, and be more forgiving–think Cadillac vs. Porsche.

Tip Area (like football-shaped fins) helps the fin hold when you’re up on the nose, but resists turning, decreasing maneuverability.

Fins that are highly raked or sickle-shaped have wag. The tip flexes horizontally as well as vertically, and so bends with the turn, which generates snap when exiting the turn, driving the surfer forward.

The shape of the back of the board also works like a fin, stabilizing the board and influencing it’s carving characteristics. If the tail is flat and wide, there’s less of this effect, if it sweeps into a pintail there is more. Makes sense, eh?

The real hydrodynamics behind this effect are more complex, but fortunately leads to the same conclusion as a “common sense” view. As a general rule of thumb a board with a wider tail will require a larger set of fins. A board with a narrower pin type tail will require less fin. A larger more powerful surfer will require a larger, stiffer fin to give the needed hold. A smaller lighter surfer will need a smaller, softer fin. If your board is feeling loose and you would like more drive, consider a larger more swept fin. For a board that feels too responsive and has too much hold a smaller softer flex fin could be used.

Fin position
Both the design layout and adjustment affect the feel and ride. A tightly grouped thruster setup allows the board to do sharper turns. Fins that are further apart make the board more stable.

Today it’s not out of the question (though it sure looks odd) to see six fins on a board. The most typical setup for a Sup board is a 2+1 with a medium sized center fin 6 to 9.5 inches deep, and two smaller front fins called thrusters or side bites. Thrusters are normally 3 1/2 to 4 1/2 inches in depth and in a fixed position but are removable. Most thrusters have a flat foil on one side which helps them release quickly when they’re on the outer rail. Most center fins are adjustable. Moving the center fin forward makes turning easier, but if you move it too far forward it won’t hold well. Not only does it get too far from the rail, but it also starts cranking against the thrusters instead of working with them. When the center fin is increased in size it creates more drive (reduces drift) but makes the board harder to turn.

A good starting point for center fin is 8 to 8 1/2 inches from the tail. This is true both for multiple fin and single fin applications.

Single Fin or 2+1?
Multiple fin boards turn more off of the rail while single fins deliver more of a pivot type of turn. This is mainly because the side fins are close to the foot that is putting pressure on the rail being sunk into the turn, so a lot of the turning pressure is applied to them as the rail is pressed. Thrusters are usually angled towards the nose which also assists in initiating the turn and are foiled flat on the inside of the fin, so the thruster on the outside of the turn will release easily.

A single fin sits behind the pressure foot so turns are more of a pivot. The surfer lifts the nose up and rotates the board on the tail rail. Assuming you’ve optimized the size, shape and placement a single fine will feel loose but stable and will be particularly good at swoopy classic longboard turns where a frontside couples smoothly to a backside, and on and on. Because those kinds of turns are classic, a lot of people consider single fins to be the only true longboard arrangement.

So the question is, which turn do you want to make? Most Sup boards that offer thrusters have removable ones so you can experiment with both fin types in varied conditions. You’re likely to find that you like thrusters when you want to maneuver sharply and cut. Multiple fins are only faster and more maneuverable if they are pushed hard with an aggressive style. If you’re just trimming down the line looking smooth and soulful, more fins just slow the board down.

If you’re trying for the best of both worlds with a “2 X 1″ Sup, push the center fins forward some, which serves to close up the distance between the fins and loosen the board.

Board Stuff
If you’re not shaping your own boards or ordering a custom some of this might seem like it’s just not important. But it’s one more piece of what it will take to really understand how your stuff is working, and what you might do to take the next step in your surfing and paddling evolution.

There is no such thing as a perfect all-around Sup board. Every shaper works with a known set of limitations and blends all the factors to deliver what Blaine Chambers called “a specific flavor of ice cream”. You might love peach licorice cookie dough, but it gives me the willies just typing it. Here’s how some of the factors work for and against the tastes you want:

Make the nose wider. Now it’s more stable to stand forward on the board, but it’s heavier to swing from the tail so it’s harder to turn.

Wider tail: Better lift for stability in motion but now it’s harder to edge the board in turns

Wide mid section: Good initial stability, but it might wobble in waves and it’s harder to turn.

Keep the nose and tail narrow, widen the middle: The board gains stability but it gets difficult to get the rails to bite.

Widen the nose and tail and keep the center narrow: The rails become more parallel which is nice for noseriding, but straight rails don’t turn well, especially in big waves.

Widen the tail and narrow the nose width: You’ll have a slow board that turns great but it will be hard to stand on.

Tail Shapes influence every other element of the board.

Squaretail: Fast but abrupt. Water is guided back to the tail smoothly then BAM, it’s out the back door blinking in the sunlight. This shape enables volume to be retained in the tail, increasing flotation and stability. It also enhances drive (the acceleration provided by the fin and rail carving against the wave face). It’s no surprise that one of the most stable boards is the JL 11er. The squaretail suits a beginner/intermediate Sup surfers who want to catch mucho waves and not fall off all the time.

Squashtail: A softened squaretail, has width for flotation and stability, but the rounded curves at the end of the rails enable the board to carve better in bigger waves.

Pintail: Sliiiiides through the water and doesn’t separate as quickly, so it isn’t as fast as a square or squashtail but it has a lot more control and smoothness, but the least drive. The curve fits nicely into big waves, allowing the board to carve without levering itself out of the wave. A common tail shape for advanced Sup boards and big waves.

Swallowtail: Blends a squaretail’s quickness, flotation and stability with a Pintail’s smooth turning and big wave fit. When the points are very far apart, as in a fish, the shape delivers drive like a squaretail.

Rocker
Rocker is the curve of the board from nose to tail. There are three primary areas of rocker: Nose, middle and tail. In a longboard it’s mostly important for determining turning characteristics–the more curve the easier it will turn, though drive will suffer as rocker increases. For a Sup board it also determines dynamic stability, recovery and glide. Rocker sometimes improves both dynamic stability and recovery. Picture a monkey (that would be you) standing on a curved stick free to rotate at both ends. The monkey’s weight pushes the curve to the bottom–it’s somewhat stable because any force that rotates the stick has to raise the monkey. In an extremely floaty board with a lot of rocker and a light monkey this all starts going the wrong way. The curved stick is no longer rotating at the ends, but instead is spinning somewhere closer to the middle. But with less floatation a 245 pound guy like me sometimes finds surprising stability on a 10’ 8” pintail that only has it’s nose and tail above water.

Increasing nose rocker decreases pearling but can increase resistance of water entry. Nose rocker can also pop the fin out of the water when you’re on the nose. Boards with a lot of nose rocker don’t usually glide as well as a similar board with a flatter nose. The board is sinking more for a given amount of weight and is shoving water ahead of it.

Rocker in the middle of the board gives less drive in the surf, and less coast when you’re paddling.

Tail rocker eases turning and adds stability under some conditions. But it decreases glide, and reduces decrease drive in the surf. Less tail rocker makes the board hard to turn from the tail, while drive and coast increases.

Thickness
A thicker board will be very buoyant and easy to stand on and paddle, but can also be sluggish and hard to maneuver. The rails will tend to be thick and can be pushed around a lot by wind and side chop.

Board Width
The wider the board the more stable it will be, as well as giving it extra planning area. Wide boards will hunt more, and sometimes wobble when you catch a wave. You generally have to set the rails more aggressively and get your weight on the turning rail quickly. The sweet spot for stable standing and paddling is bigger, but the board may be more difficult to trim in surf. Generally wide boards take a lot more fin to control them.

Board Outline or Plan View is the outline of the board, generally communicated in text or verbally by describing the nose (round, pointed, pulled in, etc), the tail (square, squash, pin, swallow, etc.) the width at the widest part and the width 12 inches from the nose and tail. It’s obviously a limited approach and a picture is worth a thousand words. For standup boards with their stability and glide issues the standard measurement approach is probably even less useful than for longboards.

Bottom Contour is the curve from rail to rail. It’s one of the most contentious areas of board design. Sup boards tend to have simple bottom contours, many are flat, but that will probably change as the designs evolve.

Concave: Guides water under the board and out through the tail, giving it more speed and acceleration. In wider Sup boards it can counter wobble and increase speed.

Channelled: Increases speed, nice in smooth waves, makes the board track, helps noseriding.

Vee: Enables fast rail to rail transitions. Slows the board but aids in quick maneuvers. .

Rails
Low rails are sensitive and tend to bite into the wave face. Good for bigger or hollow waves and longer, smoother turns. For Sup boards low rails give the added advantage of not knocking the board out from under you in side chop or windy conditions.

Boxy, full rails are more forgiving and suited for shorter, quick turns. Good for small-wave surfing and they also give the board more volume and add to initial stability, dynamic stability and recovery. When confronted with side chop on a board with thick rails it helps to sink the rail on the side the chop is hitting. If you’re paddling on that side sinking the rail will also keep you going straight.

Rail shapes come in two basic flavors–turned down and 50/50 (also called egg).

The apex of most 50/50 rails is cheated slightly below center. This makes for a smooth riding board that slides around more in a turn and often noserides better. Since the smooth rail allows water to flow up over the edge, you need either a bigger fin or need to move the fin back.

The apex of a down turned rails is generally 25% from the bottom, starting at the top with a soft roll that tightens quickly past the apex to blend into the bottom. They can (and often do) change to a hard edge fully down-turned rail near the tail. A hard edge in the tail area grips the water allowing for smaller fins. In general a board with turned down rails needs less fin than one with 50/50 rails.

MORE TO COME
Right about here is where that chart I spoke about needs to go. The nice thing about an interactive magazine is that articles can grow and improve over time. As I complete my experiments and pull the data I’ll put what i find here, and republish the article to bring it to everyone’s attention.

For now, here’s a couple of simple suggestions.

Start with your fin in about the middle of the box. Measure from the tip of the tail to the back of the fin. If it’s more than 8.5” than move it back. Surf it. If it feels tight, move the fin forward, too drifty, move it back.

If your 2+1 board seems “skatey” make sure your side bites have the foil sides to the rails, the flat side toward the center fin.

Moving the fin forwards on a 2+1 moves the center fin closer to the side bites and makes the board turn easier. Moving it too far forward makes the fin drift.

If the fin feels inadequate, remember to try more rake as well as more depth or area. More rake gives more directional drive, less rake permits faster rotation.

As for the rest, it will be in the next version.

The muffled thump and curses in a Boston accent told me brother Bob had tried to move another palm tree with his face.

It’s nerve-wracking carrying boards, paddles, tents, coolers, tables and myriad other items across a pitch-dark park to the beach. Especially when you’re wearing the traditional Maui “slippahs”. Cheap between-the-toe thong sandals afford little toe protection from the myriad stumps, bumps and lava rocks.

Early morning setup, first time I’ve ever seen Krispy Kremes go begging–everyone wanted to get in the water.

In Maui the wind rules the water, and usually it stiffens about noon. We wanted to get riders in the water early, so the 2008 Maui Stand Up Board and Paddle Showcase officially started at 6:30 AM. The sun rises at 6:00, so were setting up in the dark. I walked briskly into a post-mounted barbecue, and grazed a palm tree. But we got everything set up just as the sky started to brighten.

We pulled the fins to pack the boards better. Took a while to get them all back on.

The early arrivals pitched in and helped us schlep nearly 50 boards, and then attach fins and leashes. The paddles came in sheafs. Besides the “official” paddles with evaluation sheets assigned, there were a dozen or so more brought by the manufacturers and the surf shops–some very unusual, like a telescoping paddle with ball handle (so the “T” doesn’t get misaligned).

We set out doughnuts, croissants, fruit, coffee and juices but hardly anyone took any–they were concentrating on the boards. We did a brief orientation explaining how board assignments and traffic control would work. Coordinators oversaw board assignments and ensured our evaluators worked their way through the ten boards assigned to them, and completed the evaluation sheets.

“So here’s how we’re going to do this”

Once evaluators completed the ten boards assigned to them they could try any boards they wanted to as long as they did evaluations. The kids took that as a challenge and RAN their boards into and out of the water. Slater Trout was the first person in the water and was running his first board back out before most people hit the water.

First in the water–Slater Trout

The view from the beach was awesome–24 stand up surfers milling in the waves. Our evaluators spanned the spectrum from world class surfer/windsurfers to absolute beginners. Ripped physique to fat geezer (me). Seventy years old to 13. Everyone had a smile on their face all day long.

Ashley Baxter takes out an Oxbow 10′

Cross-stepping on the little Jimmy Lewis

Connor may have a career in plumbing if the pro windsurfing thing doesn’t pan out

We had whales around all day long, but one pod came close in and very showy in the morning. The whale viewing boat that pushed between us and the whales was prety funny–just as many people on the boat were looking at our paddlesurfers as were looking at the whales.

Kim Ball surrounded by crazy kids

We also had a less gracious visitor–a monk seal that seemed to have a generally low opinion of surfers, especially Stand Up. He growled and hissed at the kids and chased them around a little, threatening to take a bite out of them, cruised through the pack of surfers several times and was generally pretty irritated at us.

This monk seal tried to take a chunk out of Connor

One goofy longboard surfer paddled over and tried to pet him! He lucky he didn’t take back a stump.

Our evaluator ranks started to swell as the coconut telegraph got the word out that there was a lot of fun to be had. We had plenty of boards, so we accepted people until we ran out of liability waiver forms–we wound up with about forty people doing evaluations.

As many people watching the Paddlesurfers as the whales

The waves were small, with occasional waist-high sets. Our evaluators started surfing more as the waves built or they found a board they liked. Some of the boards were particularly popular because they fit a weight or skill level that was well represented in our evaluator team, or they were simply pretty and interesting. Literally EVERY board had fans that took it out more than once or kept it longer than a simple testing period.

Pole camera–the poor man’s helicopter–didn’t work so well

That’s the Jimmy Lewis 9′ 10″ that Sol Morey is kicking around. Man this guy can surf–looks like he’s dancing on the board. I guess when your Dad is the inventor of the Boogie Board you spend time on the water.

The bottom line is that there are NO bad boards. Standup Paddlesurfing has had enough development that the compromises needed for initial stability, dynamic stability, maneuverability, surfing characteristics, glide and speed are all well understood. Plus all these boards are being designed by shapers with twenty or more years experience and built by top-quality constructors. Each board is aimed at a specific set of performance characteristics or feature sets to please a specific spectrum of rider. So the question is not: “Is this board “better” than that board?” but rather: “Which of these boards suits me?”

Helping to answer that question is the purpose of this showcase.

Some of the issues that are individually important are not immediately obvious. For example, we didn’t think of having “easy to carry” as an evaluation category, but it was mentioned on many of the evaluation sheets. Several people even created their own checkboxes for “easy to carry” and rated the boards!

Shauneen Schweitzer and the Starboard 11′2″. She liked it. She also got a death grip on that Malama paddle and wouldn’t let go of it.

“Pretty” was another category that didn’t occur to us, but watching people pick out boards to try during the “free choice” part of the evaluation made it perfectly obvious how important a good looking board is. Any builder that slaps on a trite design or leaves the boards white is going to leave money on the table. Probably a lot of money.

Casey Trout takes out the lovely Ben Aipa while Big Ed watches on.

Two other things were obvious–Standup Paddlesurfing is accessible to- and attractive to nearly everyone, even people who will never surf the boards. And second, people who are having fun are great to be around. Everyone was smiling and laughing–even when we ran out of lunch.

Most fun of the day, watching Liz. She was an absolute beginner and stayed in the water all day, laughing all the time.

The menu choice for lunch was a big success, perhaps too big a success. We had way too much breakfast stuff (everyone wanted to charge into the water) and a little too little lunch. Everyone was pretty hungry after five hours of surfing and paddling. They descended on the Kalua Pork, noodles and salad like locusts. Anyone that didn’t hit the beach soon after lunch was served had to make do with rice and energy bars. Casey Trout said “I know better–I know all these guys, and I know better than to be late in the lunch line–they’re piranhas”.

Of course after lunch everyone hit the water hard again. Most evaluators had gone through their ten assigned boards, so it was a bit of a free for all, though our coordinators did a fabulous of keeping track of who had which boards and keeping the flow of evaluation sheets going. At the end of the day we had about 50 evaluators, many of whom had evaluated 20 or more boards. The wild kids did more. We had more than 900 completed evaluation sheets, not counting paddle evals.

Slater Trout and Zane Schweitzer grabbed a big Laird and started tandem paddlesurfing it. Very funny, very fun, and very impressive. I fumbled the camera the first time the guys shot past me with Zane sitting on the nose (hanging butt) and Slater on the back. They tried all kinds of combinations, including tail first, helicopters, surfing sideways, and anything else they could think of.

Ashley Baxter wasn’t feeling well, but couldn’t pass up the fun, so she and brother Connor paddled out tandem and tried some classic poses with Connor playing the part of the “girl”. As a tandem ballerina Connor makes a good windsurfer. But then both he and Ashley are Pro Windsurfers with international reputations.

Everyone got inspired by the kids and started pulling out their slickest moves. There was a lot of talent in the water. I demonstrated my unique “walk forward until your hat floats” move, but I don’t think it’s going to be big at the Buffalo anytime soon. The crowd was pretty underwhelmed.

I also tried to help Slater get a little closer to his dad by shoving his board into him. It didn’t work out that well–Slater surfs a lot better than I and was completely unperturbed by my machinations.

Continuing in this helpful vein, I assisted one of our evaluators with steering her board. (if this picture is of you, somehow we can’t connect your name to this picture–let me know by adding a comment and we’ll properly caption it).

We planned the showcase to run until 5:30 PM, but everyone was winding down by 2:30. By that time many of the folks had been in the water for nearly eight hours. Our coordinators were looking cross-eyed. By 3:30 we had everything packed up, the beach was clean, and we were headed for Ponohouse. I got a call from Hawaiian Island Surf and Sport saying Lenny was on his way over to play, and asking if we were still going to run until 6:00.

Too late Lenny, we’re pooped, we’re going home.

We know you’re a soulful surfer, but did you really intend to be celibate? Are dates a wistful memory? The last time a girl gave you her number, did it start with 555? Have you decided that women are just too finicky, too flaky, too unobtainable?

You may be a surf monk.

You saw Beach Blanket Bingo and Blue Crush–surfer dudes get chicks. Like the Beach Boys Said “There’ll be two swingin’ honey’s for every guy, and all you gotta do is just wink your eye”–chorus “two girls for ev-ry guy.” So where’s yours? Instead of Frankie Avalon, you’re more like Jeff Spicoli. Chickless.

I’ve watched surfer dudes in the bars, trying to chat up the tourist chicks. The few that manage to make contact don’t maintain it long. Geeky software dudes have a better batting average. It’s all a little sad, but I know ALL about the problem, and I figured out the solution a long time ago. The knowledge does me no good, I married the coolest girl I ever met. And I’m not just saying that because she’ll probably read this (hi hon, love you). So I might as well tell you all about it. Sit down Grasshopper, and learn. But first let me present my qualifications as your mentor.

I once fell for the same jive: I figured if I rode a motorcycle I’d get the babes. I saw the advertisements. Chicks love bikes. I lived, breathed and ate motorcycles, but it started because I was a completely clueless science nut who lived inside his books and only dreamed of dating real women. Motorcycles would fix that, thought I.

I raced bikes, drove them on the street, worked on them until my nails were permanently black, understood everything about them. Didn’t buy my first car until I was 24. Looked, walked, talked and smelled like a biker (instead of a would-be physicist).

Women crossed the street to avoid me.

But the advertisements said…! Yeah, well about that. I didn’t wind up being a physicist, instead I spent the last twenty years in advertising. I’ll tell you that “truth in advertising” isn’t even an oxymoron. Just a happy accident. When we’re planning a campaign we don’t worry about the truth. We worry about what would make a 19 year old guy buy a motorcycle (or a surfboard). That’s simple–girls.

So they lied, get over it.

But after striking out with women in every way possible, I decided I needed to do something about it. I saw guys that didn’t seem to be that special doing just fine with the ladies. I was kind of grubby, but not despicable. I cleaned up okay.

What I did was study the subject. I’m really, really, awfully good at digging into things in a semi-scientific way. I’m the poster child for attention deficit disorder, but when something is important to me I can take it apart and figure out how it works as well as anyone I ever met. For you readers of the feminine persuasion, please don’t think I’m intentionally ignoring you, it’s just that I studied this as a guy, and there’s not much I could or would do about that.

So that’s my qualifications, sketchy as they might sound. But I did get very good at meeting women. I obsessed about it, did experiments, practiced constantly, took notes and observed the good, the bad, and the hopeless. I once bet a friend I could leave a bar with the best looking woman there in less than ten minutes. It took less than two. Of COURSE I cheated–that’s the point grasshopper–make it easy on yourself and get results. It comes down to two simple things.

So there you are, drinking a beer in the bar with your other surf monk buddies, complaining because there’s just no women that aren’t flakes, meaning there aren’t any that are interested in you. Here’s what you do about it.

Preparation: Look human. Sure, you’ll see some very oddly turned out guys with very interesting-looking women. But do you really need a potential handicap? Your knit bill cap might be your friend, and some girls will even like it–there are nine of them in the world. Chances of meeting them are not good.

You want to stand out–be a little outrageous, but you shouldn’t look like you might smell funny. If you’re totally lost, ask a friend’s girlfriend or even your sister to pick out clothes for you. If you get your head in the right space it will be more fun than you’d expect, and you’ll look the way a WOMAN wants you to look, which is what this is all about.

Step one: Immediate engagement. You walk into a place, scan to find the most interesting looking apparently unattached woman, IMMEDIATELY walk over and say hi.

“Wow, I can’t do that”, you say.

You must.

Why is this important? Here’s my observation (and I watched this hundreds of times–you can too, it happens in every party bar, every day). A guy walks into a bar and sits down by himself. Starts looking at the women. For about two minutes the women in the bar are mildly interested–who is this guy? What’s his story? Is he alone? But that moment passes as he sits around working up his courage. Not only is he no longer new and interesting, he’s a little weird. He settles on two women he’s interested in and starts looking at them more intently. By the time he makes a decision to approach one, she thinks he’s an axe murdering stalker–or might as well be.

The gals at the showcase appear to have spotted something interesting

Tell me this, if some guy started staring at you, how long would it take for you to start worrying about him? Even if it was a woman, unless she took action fairly soon you’d start twitching. Should you go over, what should you say? Is she a nut, on crack, looking for money? Is she trying to piss off her boyfriend so he’ll kick your butt?

Another reason is less visible, but if you’re honest with yourself you can detect it in your own actions. You sit there looking at the women. Slowly accumulating negative reactions that make it impossible for you to act. “Too pretty, she’d just shoot me down. Too loud. Three girls together–that can’t work”. And finally “there’s nobody here, might as well finish my beer and go home”.

So immediate action is the most important step. Absolutely. You can practice this until it feels normal. Go out with the express purpose of practicing. No real intent to engage. Pick women that are in a group. Walk up and say hi. Introduce yourself. “Hello, I’m Bill, how are you folks doing tonight?” You haven’t risked a thing–if they treat you poorly then it’s their insecurity and unfriendliness that caused it. You were just being nice. But nine point nine times out of ten someone in the group will be nice right back. And you start talking.

Step two: What do I talk about?
Small talk is a lost art. A great conversation is something that stays with you for weeks, months, years–just because it’s so rare. Conversation is not stories about yourself–especially ones that aren’t true. Certainly not stories about your enthusiasms. Hey, you and I can talk about surfing until the sun comes up. But if the girl you’re talking to doesn’t have coral cuts on her feet and knots on her knees, she’ll glaze over pretty quick. It’s even worse here on Maui where bragging about surfing is like being proud because you breathe well. Here everyone surfs. Their grandma surfs better than you. Their uncle is Dave Kalama. Don’t bother.

Maybe you’d like to brag about your surfing to Ashley. Bad idea. Not only is SHE better than you, but her little brother, and everyone she knows is too.

I’m not going to try to reverse a hundred years of decline and teach you how to have a polite and stimulating conversation. So keep it simple and stick with the safest topic of all–her. Get her talking and just listen, dropping in encouraging questions whenever she slows down. At the end of the evening she’ll think you’re the most interesting person she’s ever talked with.

Let’s dispense with your criticism of this. Are they so shallow, egotistical and insecure that the only thing you can talk to them about is themselves? If the answer is ‘Yes” and she’s beautiful, does it matter? But of course it’s more complex than just that. Remember, we’re looking for a safe topic not only for you, but also for her. If you talk about things she doesn’t know about, how well is that going to work? The topic of her is safe for both of you.

You start with simple but interesting questions: What brought you to Maui? What do you love about it? What have you done here that’s really fun? Have you found any good restaurants? Do you like the beach? What do you do for work? Do you find it fulfilling?

You need to really listen. Look into her eyes and pay attention. Don’t think about what you’re going to say next, listen to her and think about what she is saying. You don’t need to be cleaver, you need to be focused.

Once you get someone talking about themselves, they’ll go on until they get embarrassed about talking too much–at which point you reassure them that you’re having the best conversation of your life. “Oh no, I’m having such a great time talking with you. This is SO much fun”. Say it like you mean it, and the truth is, it will be. Women are fun, especially if you pay attention to them.

One last thing about conversations–women don’t talk with their boobs, so don’t look there. Look straight into their eyes and smile a little fascinated smile. It might make them a little nervous, and I know it’s hard for you, but they’ll absolutely love it.

There’s a lot more of course. The trial close. Separating the twins (or not ). How to be aloof and make it matter. But we’ll save that for later. Two new things is enough for one session.

But we’ve got you started here, and if you really practice these simple things you’ll become very comfortable with them. Not only will you sometimes have a date, but you’ll also probably develop more women friends. They are delightful creatures. Who would you rather sit in a bar with, three women that you simply know and like or three of your grubby surfer buddies telling the same old stories. Even if they are all spoken for, no one can set you up better or faster than a woman friend. And things change. Friends become more than friends.

So here’s the weird thing about all this, and I’m not sure whether I should write this or not. This approach is pretty much exactly what your Mom probably told you when you were ten. “Don’t be so self-conscious, go over there right now and talk to that girl, don’t brag about yourself, you learn more by listening than talking”. All that basic manners stuff.

Go and practice those two little steps Grasshopper. You’ll be amazed.

Fifty two boards, thirty five riders (growing to fifty by day’s end) knee to waist high waves, sunshine, and lots of aloha. It was as close to being a perfect day as anyone could ask for. All our testers did a superb job, with most evaluating twenty boards apiece (we assigned ten). Zane Schweitzer, Slater Trout (pictured going tandem here), and Conner Baxter our youngest testers, hit the water running and never slowed all day. You could power a small city on their energy.

Connor upholds the honor of little brothers everywhere by helping Ashley into the drink. Ashley wasn’t feeling well but still gamely tested her ten assigned boards and then paddled tandem with Connor. I met their dad on Saturday, surfing at Kanaha and asked if he was Connor and Ashley’s dad–he said “Yes, I no longer have a first name.” Spectacular kids, and a pleasure to be around, all four of them.

Sol Morey delivers a runaway board back to Evan Leong

Sol (son of Tom Morey, the inventor of the foam boogie board) is a soulful surfer with incredible balance. He perfected the forward kick turn to a spectacular degree during the course of the testing, spinning the board from the nose 180 degrees instantly in a single movement. Sol teaches surfing in Maui, I can’t imagine anyone better to learn from.

Not all waves were this crowded. I was trying to shove Slater into his dad, Casey Trout, but it’s not wise to mess with a kid that surfs fifty times better than me (or his dad who’s even bigger than me)

Diane shot over 1200 spectacular photos, Karen Giordano shot just about as many (we can’t wait to see them, Karen), we have nearly 1000 evaluation sheets to distill into helpful information. we’re going to be hard-pressed to make our launch deadline of February 25th (especially if the nice waves at Kanaha continue). But we’re committed to that date. There will be an overabundance of content in this first issue. some technical articles, some fun stuff (like how to get a date if you’re a surfer dude), and of course the results, photos and videos from the 2008 Maui Board and Paddle Showcase.

Thank you so much to all our testers, but thank you especially to our volunteers, who kept the event organized and running smoothly with a firm hand tempered with amazing grace.

Exciting days, boards and paddles for the 2008 Maui Sup Board and Paddle Showcase are arriving. Good thing that Hawaiian Island Surf and Sport has agreed to receive and store most of them, and several of the Oahu-based manufacturers are coming over with their own vanloads or boards and paddles. My garage is running out of room–compelling me to clean it up when I should be surfing

Here’s part of the Jimmy Lewis lineup for 2008 that I picked up at Jimmy’s place last night. Any of you fans of the JL 11er probably have the same reaction that I do: MUST…HAVE…GREEN…ONE, a 10′6 X 29 scaled down version of the 11er. while the wife is saying “not so fast buster, it’s my turn and I want the blue one. Pretty damned clever of Jimmy to take probably the world’s most popular beginner board and scale it both for increased proficiency and smaller people. I’ll know more today, but my guess is I can step right off the 11er onto the 10′ 6″ and have the board respond the same, only quicker. Bound to be the shortest learning curve for a smaller board.

That’s my personal 11er on the left for comparison. The goop on the nose and tail is tape residue from sticking camera mounts on the board.

The new shapes are gorgeous too, can’t wait to try that pintail. Here’s a better picture.

I hate it when Rachael Ray says “yummers” but… Yummers! Sounds better when I say it.

Saw Jimmy’s new paddle too. Very different, very innovative. A fiberglass shaft that has quite a lot of flex in it, but in a very straight line. He’s using the Quickblade molds for the blades, but casting them in a translucent blue. the shaft is kind of Pearlescent white. I’d think that wouldn’t be my style, but when I saw it together I really liked the look, and the flex was interesting. I look forward to trying it–Jimmy is going to bring one to the showcase, along with the new Distance board.

Speaking of paddles, I received two paddles from Werner. Tried one of them last Saturday, and like it a great deal. I thought I’d HATE the handle–it looks funky and clumsy, but I loved it. It gives great blade control, more than the rounded handles I’m used to. Might not be comfortable for people with small hands, but I was shocked at how good it was.

I wrapped the paddle blade with Mastic tape to keep from dinging my board

wide T-handle provides excellent blade control

Anyway, got to go, I need to do a pre-showcase shakedown of the boards. Yeah, that’s what I’m doing. Making sure everything is OK. That’s my story and I’m sticking to it.

Starboard is accelerating their Sup program with a new catalog focused on flatwater models. While a few custom designers have built flatwater boards and several innovative builders have released production open water boards (Sandwich Island Composite’s all-conquering F-16 open water racer, and a new 14-foot race board from C-4) I believe Starboard is the first manufacturer to focus explicitly on the flatwater market. The Flatwater cruising, touring, and fishing markets are expected to contribute substantially to, and may even dominate the overall Sup market. Click any image to see it full sized.

The new catalog features existing models pictured in flatwater settings.

Focusing more on the paddling aspects of Sup

The catalog also introduces two new boards

This spectacular point-to-point board with a foot steering option. This board is co-designed by Mark Raaphorst.

There’s a full line of paddles

And starboard has introduced a kid’s Sup board.

Two new boards andthe first Sup catalog to feature flatwater Sup cruising. It will be very interesting to see if this direction yields results immediately. The flatwater market for Sup seems poised to grow rapidly.